At Random
Bring Ya Ass!
Spirits were high in this chunk of flyover country after the Timberwolves’ improbable Game 7 comeback victory over the Denver Nuggets last month.
Moms On A Bench
Three older women were sitting on a bench in Fort Lauderdale...
Bear Hunting
Bob was excited about his new .375 rifle and decided to try bear hunting. He traveled up to Alaska, spotted a large grizzly and shot at it. As the smoke was clearing, there was a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see the grizzly.
90th Birthday Surprise
For his 90th birthday, a man’s friends decided to give him a visit from an expensive, high-class call girl.
10 Years Of At Random
Dear readers, we hit a substantial milestone this month. At Random has now rested on my narrow shoulders for an incredible 10 years! [Break for applause.]
Two Small Children
Do you suffer from bouts of severe anxiety? Are the threats of nuclear war, climate change, and new COVID variants too much to handle? Finally, a new treatment is available—ask your doctor if "Two Small Children" are right for you.
Meet the wood of your dreams on Timbr!
Swipe right if you're down to miter. Swipe left to throw it on the scrap pile.
Melee Under the Mistletoe
Just when you thought it was safe to sit down to Holiday dinner, your brother's home timidly presents a continuation of last year's "Doom in the Dining Room."
What is DONTENDITALL XR?
Once-Daily DONTENDITALL XR: Now I'm jumping for JOY!
Everyone Is Talking About Assagenix!
Are YOU ready for financial freedom? Can you feign enthusiasm for a product with no scientific backing?
Public Service Announcement
Earlier this winter, South Dakota officials yanked their public safety campaign that was supposed to raise awareness about driving on icy roads, but instead navigated some peoples’ minds into the gutter.
My Favorite Joke
A guy stumbles into a bar, orders a drink, and immediately pukes all over his shirt.
Got To Have An Ole Joke
Ole was working at the walleye processing plant when he accidentally cut off all ten of his fingers.
Rideshare Fiasco
Like I’ve repeatedly said, we can’t have nice things here in Minneapolis.
Ericson Brothers Renovations
A bathroom remodel? $200,000… call around and you won’t find a better price.
Florida Woman
Last summer, we paid homage to the wacky and bountiful “Florida Man” news stories. We also played the associated internet game (apparently several years after everyone else) and got a few chuckles reading how men in Florida celebrate our birthdays.
**Exclusive** NCAA Discussing 128-Team Football Playoffs For 2027
At the end of 2023, all nine FBS college conferences agreed to expand the annual College Football Playoffs from four teams to 12, starting with the 2024-25 season. This was billed as an effort to end the controversy around the somewhat subjective method of selecting the four teams to play for the national championship.
Father And Son Sharks
Two great white sharks spied a sunken ship’s survivors treading water in the middle of the ocean.
Sven And Ole On The Dole
Two Norwegians who worked at the garment factory in Hibbing, MN were laid off. They went downtown together to file for unemployment.
A Classic—From Bob Kargenian
A mother was making teenage son’s bed when she noticed something under the mattress.
Perception for the Professional
March 2026 Issue
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March 2026 Issue
